Some Firsts

16 12 2009

So this is gonna be kind of a weird post.  But in the last few days I’ve experienced two somewhat significant firsts in my life.  If you don’t have a sense of humor don’t read on.

The first first is that I hit my first bird in my car!  I know lots of you have hit birds before and it’s nothing special.  But I felt a macabre sense of accomplishment when it happened.  I was driving in Orange County when two seagulls dove into my lane, they both just about made it.  But the lower one was just a little too low.  I think it was my roof rack that did him in.  I heard a thud and saw a cloud of white feathers in my rear view mirror.  Maren’s reaction was one of horror and mine was somewhat opposite.  I’m not glad a bird had to die, but I’m glad I can add that to my life experiences.

The second first is slightly embarrassing and I’m only sharing it because I hope it will stir up some good comments from my readers.  And let’s be honest, it’s kind of funny.  I farted in front of my mother-in-law.  It was a total accident!  We were just walking along and I tried to squeeze out a quiet one (as I’ve done many times before) but instead it was definitely audible.  I hoped against hope that somehow Maren and her mother hadn’t noticed, but sure enough Maren turns to me with a quizzical look, following which Maren’s mom turned and told Maren to “have some couth” and just ignore my passage of gas.  So they both heard it, and Maren’s mom was going to let me get away with it!  Needless to say, I was quite embarrassed.  But I also felt relieved that an awkward bridge had been crossed between my mother-in-law and I, and I came out relatively unscathed.

Speaking of breaking wind, one first that I’m still waiting on is the highly anticipated first audible fluff from my dear wife.  I’m not necessarily looking forward to it, but Maren has said that she would like to go years without me hearing her southern winds, and in that sense I feel like she has laid out a challenge.  I find myself paying attention to every squeak of every chair ready to call her on it at any moment.  One day…




9 responses

16 12 2009

I can picture the Maren and Deb interaction and its so funny! Maren will eventually get used to it!! that’s awesome.

16 12 2009

I feel bad for the bird and the ‘fart’ incident did indeed make me laugh. I remember the first time ‘passed gas’, ‘fluffed’, ‘passed wind’, ‘farted’ in front of Uncle Fred. I was horrified. After you get over that initial one it’s no big deal after that :) I’m glad to know you won’t be grossed out when that day comes with Maren. Us girls have the same bodily functions as you guys and sometimes we just can’t help it :) I have a friend who has been married for 15 yrs. who has still never let go in front of her husband and when she goes number two in the bathroom will light a match and then spray to hide the smell. I don’t have the time nor the energy to worry about any of that and besides……is that normal? I mean come one…..we all have to go to the bathroom and we all have those bodily functions. Oh, and one more thought…..aren’t you glad when you tried to sneak it out it was only loud and not something else?!!!!

16 12 2009

RIP seagull!!! Why do the dang birds fly so close anyway?? Congrats!

Justin and I crossed the line with farting when we were dating. Unfortunately the first time Justin farted I laughed and he took that as having the freedom to push them out for kicks and giggles. Look forward to having kids … you can mostly blaim the sounds and or smell on them! It is wonderful to have an out!

16 12 2009

I think I had hit a bird once before this, but there was one week in the summer of… 2008(?) that I hit THREE birds! I don’t know what it was! I was driving a kind of mini-bronco looking jeep-thing (highly technical, you know) and on three seperate occasions that week, a bird would fly in front of my car! It was horrific! For a couple months after that I got really jumpy whenever I saw a bird while I was driving.

As for the fart thing, I have my own embarassing story! I was at my in-laws and had fallen asleep. I woke up to myself letting a little toot out! It wasn’t big, but it’s embarassing enough to wake up to the sound of your own tood, let alone that happen in front of your in-laws! I almost died. I just sort of made quick eye contact with Kyle and ignored what just happened. Good thing my father-in-law is deaf… I can’t remember my mother-in-law’s reaction, but she noticed it for sure!

16 12 2009

I went camping with friends a couple of years ago and we were in my friends truck and this bird flew right in front of the truck! Well we all thought it had made it until we stopped at a cafe and low and behold stuck in his grill was the dead bird. We took pictures and hit was really kind of funny and macabre.

19 12 2009

I remember my first major score (something bigger than a gopher) in Dads car was a cat. I was heading to Lethbridge on a date and this cat ran out of the ditch. I nailed it dead on (pun intended) and the cat flew high into the air. I was thrilled but my date was horrified.

Long after we were married I remember I kept finding maggots on my driveway. Finally I decided there must be something under the hood of the car. Sure enough, there plastered against my radiator was a dead bird. Obviously he had been there for some time. You’ve got to be careful about the seagulls however, they’re big enough they can leave a significant dent.

26 12 2009
Daniel Harker

That is so hilarious! How long did it take us s roommates to get over the fart barrier like a day? Lol!!

12 07 2011
Ann Leishing

beautiful pictures

17 01 2012
Scott Dunlap

So, what happened to the bird … did it die? We have a gull that has been coming back to visit us here on the river, for the last 10 winters … should he not return I guess I know now what may have happened. His name is Buddy and he likes to eat kibbles n Bits when floating on the river. In fact, he comes to the house at 7:30 am every morning. Oooops, I didnt mean to humanise a flying rat. LOL. Afterall, whats one more or less gull. Another first I saw on the news the other day, was a man driving his vehicle through a whole flock of them … I’m not sure where your cut off line is. But, that made the headlines down here in Daytona :D
PS This is all also just humour, right?

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