Long Boarding in PB

In the first 26 years of my life I had been on a skateboard exactly one time.  It was at my friend Trevor’s house when I was about 8 years old.  I remember that it was a short ride and I wiped out and I didn’t like it very much.

Fast forward to 2008.  One of the first activities that Maren and I did together was skate boarding at Mission Beach.  It was really late at night so I wasn’t too afraid of embarrassing myself.  I discovered that I actually enjoyed it.  It probably made a difference that we were on long boards and not traditional skate boards.

Fast forward to today.  Since moving to Pacific Beach last year, I’ve been going out skating fairly regularly and I’ve gradually been getting better.  But I’m not that good and in the process I’ve realized something.  You’ve got to have thick skin to be a novice skate boarder in PB.  Most of these people grew up with a skate board or surf board under them and it seems like a given that residents should be proficient on one or the other.

Why do I bring this up now?  Last night Maren and I went out to grab some Mexican food, she on her cruiser and I on my long board.  I was feeling confident.  But not even two blocks away from home a jag in the sidewalk takes my board out from under me.  I stayed on my feet but it was enough for some guys passing in their truck to hoot and holler and point at me.  Okay, a little embarrassing but not too bad.

Then after we’ve eaten we’re almost home and I’m crossing an intersection near our house and I try to slow myself down by dragging my right foot a bit.  Turns out the street was wet and instead of slowing down I did a classic feet out from under me and board flying down the road ahead of me bum drop in the middle of the street.  When that happens your bum never hurts as much as your pride does.  Thankfully, all the cars had their windows rolled up this time.

So there you go.  They weren’t my first wipeouts and definitely won’t be the last but I thought two long boarding fails in one night deserved a blog post.

Funny Stuff – xkcd

I discovered something today on the interwebs and I had to share it with you all.  When I was younger my favorite comic strip was Calvin and Hobbes.  Part of the reason I liked it so much was that a lot of its humor was intelligent in a way that belied the fact that the main characters were a six-year-old boy and his stuffed tiger.  I’ve always appreciated that sort of smart humor.

Well, today I stumbled across a webcomic called xkcd that has a wonderful mix of the ridiculous and the intellectual.  Feel free to check it out for yourself, but in the meantime here are a few comics for your enjoyment.

Best Craigslist Post Ever!

Someone made me aware of this story in the Huffington Post about an awesome craigslist-er looking for a roommate and I had to share it with you, my faithful reader.  Enjoy.

Reader beware.  There is some colorful language.

Best Post Ever

Bumper Stumpers

Certain bumper stickers are like certain graphic t-shirts: they look hilarious or cool on the rack in the store but if you actually buy it and wear it you just look like a tool.  You and your buddies might have a good laugh over the “pirates get more booty” t-shirt in the store (I’ll admit, there are sometimes some funny ones out there), but when you wear it in public, people probably aren’t thinking that you must have a good sense of humor.  Same thing for bumper stickers.  Be careful what you put on your car’s butt!

Some bumper stickers are okay, though.  I completely support national flag bumper stickers (as long as there isn’t any text along with it).  Righteous, non-partisan patriotism is always inspiring.  I’m okay with radio station bumper stickers because they often have a function, e.g. radio promotions that give cars with stickers discounted gas or other goodies.  I can also stand by alumni stickers.

Stickers I’m not okay with include the politically inflammatory, ones that include profanity or other inappropriate material, lame jokes and insults and others of that ilk.  It just seems immature.

Political campaign stickers just end up looking funny ten years later.  I wonder if all those vehicular politicians are still glad they chose to mar their car with something that becomes essentially meaningless in 4 years.

Stickers that have so much small text on them you would have to be 2 feet away to read it are just ridiculous.  Why would you put it in a place that no one will be close enough to read it?  Brand name stickers aren’t as cool as you think they are, either.

And the “My child is an honor student” stickers are just a little pretentious, don’t you think?  It’s one thing to brag to your close friends and acquaintances about your children’s academic prowess; it’s quite another to brag to a stranger behind you on the freeway.  And it’s worse when the sticker is on some Lexus or BMW SUV.  That’s just rubbing salt in the wound.

And bullet hole stickers.  I mean, really?!

And finally, some cars are just not meant to have bumper stickers on them.  Like a Jaguar, for example.  I bring this up because, on the way home from work today, I ended up behind a classic Jag in pretty good condition with three bumper stickers on it.  One of them said something about a Tax Revolt 2009 (political – one strike) the others were small and unintelligible (two strikes).  The third strike is that THEY WERE ON A JAGUAR!  I guess some people just don’t appreciate high quality automobiles the way I do.

And to end this post, I want to give a shout out to the civil rights warriors out there who drive hatchbacks covered in bumper stickers that say “Meat is Murder” and “Save a Tree, Wipe Your Butt With A Logger” and so on.  To you I say, first, I admire much of what you stand for, keep up the good work; second, I wouldn’t be caught dead in your car; and lastly, don’t stop putting stickers on your car, even though you’ve broken all my bumper sticker rules, it’s a lot of fun to see you and your stickers.

Hopefully, I don’t have too many readers who love bumper stickers!

The “MySpace Self Portrait”

I don’t know how many of you have been following my blog long enough to remember a couple of posts I made about some of the weird things that I see the kids that I work with do.  One of the posts was about them putting elastic bands around the cuffs of their pants to keep them bunched up around the ankles.  I still don’t understand that.  And then I wrote about how a lot of the kids use the word “sock” when they mean “punch.”  Seemed kind of old fashioned to me.

So this is another installment of that kind of weird teenage behavior.  This time it’s about a phenomenon that is very common and has been around for a while but still strikes me as ridiculous every time I see it.  I have chosen to call it the “MySpace Self Portrait.”  This is when the subject takes a birds-eye-view photo of themselves while they’re striking some seductive pose.  It is primarily a female portrait and it is often coupled with a low cut top to make the photographer’s cleavage visible.

Like I said before, this is a pretty common phenomenon among young people on the internet these days.  What got me thinking about it was the class elections at the school I work at.  Several students were running for student office and they each made their own campaign posters.  Mostly they were what you would expect from a bunch of teenagers.  But one candidate in particular exceeded my not-so-high expectations by choosing as her campaign photo nothing less than a bonafide “MySpace Self Portrait.”  I had a good laugh at that.  By the way, she didn’t win the election.  So all you future political hopefuls out there can cross that photo op off the list.

I’ve included my own version of the MySpace Self Portrait for your enjoyment.  You will immediately notice the seductive pose – lips pursed, coyly embracing the camera with my eyes, making sure my head isn’t blocking the view of my cleavage (which is something less than buxom, so I had to help it a little with my other hand).  Pretty enticing, right?  Also crucial to the MySpace Self Portrait is the lack of concern for the background of the photo.  You not only get to see my handsome face, you also get to see evidence of how disorganized my life is (I’m not really disorganized, Maren and I keep a very tidy house).  What this photo says about me is that I’m sexy, I’m confident and I don’t mind being objectified.  What’s not to like about this kind of portraiture?